No Men Allowed

Yes, We Are Discriminating: A Retreat for Women Leaders

No men allowed, and already the hairs on the back of some necks stand up. I’ve struck a nerve,

and I know it. But we need to talk about what people want and what they need.

A little over a year ago, I ran a retreat on the outskirts of the Okavango Delta. By coincidence,

all the attendees happened to be women. At the end of the experience, many of them shared

that they believed the retreat would not have been as successful had men been present. They

emphasized that a male presence might have affected the feeling of authenticity and safety they

had experienced.

As someone who is not a woman, I don’t always relate to this perspective firsthand, but it was

clear to me that this need for a women-only space was real and valuable. Now, as I prepare for

my upcoming Executive Elevation Leadership Retreat, yes for Women in Senior Leadership

Positions, I’ve encountered some pushback. Some (okay, two men—but they were quite snippy

about it) have questioned whether a women-only retreat is discriminatory.

The Inclusion vs. Exclusivity Debate

We live in an era where diversity and inclusion are rightly at the forefront of discussions in both

business and social spaces. However, the need for spaces exclusively for women is not a new

phenomenon. Nor is questioning what may appear to be exclusion. I recall a recruitment advert I

ran in the 1990s with the heading, Are You the Six Million Dollar Man?, playing on the TV series

of the same name about a bionic man—The $6 Million Man. It was for a Finance position, and I

thought it was a clever little attention grabber of a title. Well, attention it got—but for all the

wrong reasons. To my surprise, I received significant backlash from women who felt excluded

by the language. This was an early lesson in how representation matters and how seemingly

neutral spaces often cater more to men by default.

A female friend recently helped me understand another aspect of this need for exclusivity.

Women often experience being hit on, harassed, or dismissed in professional settings. A

women-only retreat allows them to exist in a space where they don’t have to manage those

dynamics—where they can focus entirely on their own growth without the subtle (or overt)

challenges they may face in mixed-gender environments.

Why Don’t Men’s-Only Spaces Get the Same Response?

Some might argue that if women can have exclusive spaces, men should have the same right.

And in theory, they do. However, the key difference is historical marginalization. Women have

faced significant barriers in corporate spaces, leadership roles, and social settings. Men's-only

spaces have existed for centuries, often reinforcing those very barriers. That’s why the reaction

to male-exclusive events is often different—it lacks the context of providing a safe or corrective

space for an underrepresented group.

This debate reminds me of the controversy surrounding Slave Play, an award-winning

production in London’s West End. The play featured “Blackout” performances—nights where

only Black audience members were allowed. The purpose was to create a space where Black

individuals could experience the play free from the “white gaze.” The intention was clear, but it

still sparked intense debate. Some people felt excluded, while others saw it as a necessary

space for cultural and social expression.

But you are a man?

Some have also questioned my presence as a male facilitator at a women’s retreat. This is a fair

question. But I have been intentional about this, and I’ve asked previous retreat participants if

my facilitation affected their experience. Overwhelmingly, they said no. What mattered to them

was that they were surrounded by other women who understood their unique leadership

challenges. They felt comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities in a way they wouldn’t in a mixed-

gender setting.

The Unique Challenges Women Face in Leadership

The corporate ladder remains steeper for women. Factors like maternity leave, social

expectations around caregiving, and imposter syndrome make leadership development more

complex for them. Many women feel that, to do the deep work of self-reflection and personal

growth, they need a space that is designed through a female lens.

This is why women-only leadership retreats are not about exclusion but about creating an

environment where women can be fully seen, heard, and supported in ways they may not

experience in mixed-gender spaces.

Ultimately, it’s not about keeping anyone out. It’s about ensuring that those who need this space

can access it without compromise.